I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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