apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
