Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
