just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
