she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
