is your mom at the bar?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
