Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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