3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
