is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
