you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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