We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
