great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
