And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize