I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
