The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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