I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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