My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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