i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
