DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
