Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
