its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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