I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
