Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The feeling are messing with the penis
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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