Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
