I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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