he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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