some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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