apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize