love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
