She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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