is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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