Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
