he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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