Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
