My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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