What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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