Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
