His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
