Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
