that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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