rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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