Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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