You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
