Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
