we have officially lost it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
