You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
