whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
