I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize