i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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