You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
