when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
