WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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