I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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