The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
