I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
its liver damage thursday
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize