shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
