and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
